is blogger dead?

pansin ko lang.. hindi na nag uupdate ang mga tao ng kanilang Blog.. hay.. is it because it's midterms already? hay... boring

"You must remember this, a kiss is still a
kiss". Your romance is Casablanca. A
classic story of love in trying times, chock
full of both cynicism and hope. You obviously
believe in true love, but you're also
constantly aware of practicality and societal
expectations. That's not always fun, but at
least it's realistic. Try not to let the Nazis
get you down too much.


What Romance Movie Best Represents Your Love Life?
brought to you by QuizillaYour YELLOW you have a happy person but you have
mixed feelings about everything.


Which Color Are You
brought to you by Quizilla
creative: you are an individual at school and thats
why your friends all think you're amazing. you
offer a shoulder to cry on when people need on,
you give good advice and overall a very good
friend. you enjoy being in the company of
others, particularly those closest to you and
sometimes depend on your friends too much. but
apart from being dependent, you can mostly make
it on your own and excel over others. you are
fun, good natured and a great person to be
around!


what kind of girl are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

do i need a reason- D sound

Today when I saw you
I knew it was just like the first time
When you met my eyes I came close
And I felt like the first time

To hold back my fear
and feel you so near
I’ve never been this far before
To hold back my fear
and feel you so near
I’m scared of falling into deep this time

Do I need a reason to tell you why
I’m singing you this song
Do I need a reason to show you that
I know where I belong
Whenever I am weary I lean on
this feeling that I have
I am so much stronger now
Thankful, yes I am

Today I’ll renounce them,
the doubts and the fears I’ve been nursing
I’ll fly like a moth to the flame
and I’ll feel like the first time

To hold back my fear
and let you come near
I’ve never been this far before
To hold back my fear
and let you come near
I’m ‘fraid of loosing and still I go

i don't want to act like i'm a trying hard banal person. i've been attending bible study for the past couple of months and i'm glad i'm regaining that connection with God again. I am on the way to the right path again. (i think) .

anyway, i'm coping pretty well with my loneliness.
I've found ways to keep me busy. Kythe, bible class,gym, tatin, blogging, thinking, surfing e-bay (btw, who knows how that whole mambojambo works?tutor me naman o.), taking care of my dogs (who really deserve a whole lot of attention), and well,, sleeping. ahh...sleeping, it takes me to another world.

its raining like mad again outside. Damn. and i'm supposed to walk to EAPI later to meet up with van.

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i'm having the first toothache of my adult life. i didn't think growing my wisdom tooth would hurt this much. And my face isn't quite pantay right now. My right cheek is starting to bulge up ( well, because of my naturally large face, it really doesn't show that much..haha) i'm scared to go to the dentist because i'm really thinking there's a big possibility i'm gonna have a tooth extraction. darn. I really don't want that to happen even if "its just gonna hurt a little bit." a little bit my butt... dentists can be such bad liars.

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something got me to thinking again... got to talk to kiel kse eh.
he was asking me about his predicament about this certain situation he is in right now. (sorry kiel...atin atin lang ba yun dapat? i'll be discrete about it naman eh...:) ) anyway, lets say i have a 'bestfriend' but i have certain feelings of affection towards that person. now my 'bestfriend' has a girlfriend(or sorta like that...maybe the relationship is on the way) would i rather that i know absolutely nothing about it or know the juicy parts about it because my 'bestfriend' is so open to me and includes me in his list of listeners? 'told kiel i'd choose the later. don't wanna be left in the dark hoping and wishing things would develop between me and 'bestfriend' without even realizing that he's so madly inlove with another person. Who's gonna look so stupid then right? better i have a say on his 'relationship' at least there's still this connection. THEORETICALLY SPEAKING...

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oooooooooowwwwwwww....sakit ng ngipin ko talaga.........shhhhhhhhhUUUcckksss........

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galing pala, the other night, i downloaded these GIF images from the net for my newly installed MS Publisher. (hahaha.... hindi na naman authorized yun...tsk tsk.) i'm trying to make a better site para hindi naman ako mashadong mukhang newiewebbie illiterate person. (no offense meant to those who really just don't mind being simple ) pero hirap pala talaga nun..dami pang praktis.
watch out for the launch of my site... yuck... exagg naman ata sa pagka geeky yun. (sometimes i get scared because i'm turning into those stereotyped, cliched overweight girls who are such internet addicts because its the only place they find acceptance.....bad bad bad thoughts.... )

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walang pasok bukas! yey! i don't have class..sa wakas tumama din! everytime classes are cancelled, ala naman talaga akong pasok e..so what's the diff?

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for my fourth year thesis, i'm thinking about writing about blogs. it has been so much a part of some atenista's lives. wala lang...any ideas on it, just tell me, i'm really thinking of making it my thesis paper.

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sakit............

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i finished my philosophy orals last saturday. ahahay... salamat sa Diyos. i just wanted to get it over and done with. I was in school at around 8 am. My oral test was scheduled at 8:30. I was reviewing frantically and harassing hazelle because that test really blew me away. when i got into the consultation room at dela costa, and saw that oh-so-loving face of my teacher, Mr. Strebel, all my fears went flying away.. hehehe.. he was really nice. even though he kept that poker face all through out the 23 minutes i was in there. .... continue this later...i have 4:30 minutes to finish my work...hay... the hassles of computers in school......from one computer lab to another. heheheh i'm back. as i was saying, the oral test was ok despite the fears i had the week before i had to take it. and i only got to know what 'sentido kumon' meant the night before i had to explain what it had to do with Meron. Sheesh.. sentido kumon is simply common sense in tagalog. How ironic.
'ano ang pala - isip na meron' that was the question that killed me. hehhehhee i didn't know what to anwer mr. strebel! hehehehe i was giving him general answers about my miniscule knowledge of that freaking MERON that we have been discussing for half a semester. great student noh? so i ended up with a homework. I have to give him my answer to that question on thursday. sigh... back to reading that stupid article...

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i'm seated behind my day care classmate. hehehehe how cool is that? we went to the same day care, the same grade school, the same high school and now, the same university. And the coolest part is, she's 2 batches lower....hahaha..... how cool.... ;P i actually hated her when we were in day care. She was so pa-importante...not that she needed the attention. She owned the freaking day care! Literally. when we had our christmas party, she wanted to be the ballerina. I wanted to be the ballerina. But nooo.. she had to get that part because she was who she was. but i guess she did it nicely. When i found out that she had to get inside a balikbayan box and pop out like a freaking jack-in-a-box, i thanked her for stealing that role from me. I became the angels of bethlehem. Angels...yes...coz i was representing all of them..haha... there's a funny story behind all that.. i got stuck while i was going on stage because my wings were too wide..hehehehe.. i was twisiting my little stout body this way and that while i was frantically being signalled by my teacher to get to the middle of the stage...everyone kept on laughing and i finally got un-stuck when the day care yaya pushed me so hard from behind. i felt like a cork popping out of a wine bottle. back to my day care classmate.. her name is Ramona Jessica. Hehehe.. i still remember her! I still remember her because she's the cousin of my first puppy love... hahahha puppy love.. kadiri! my friends know about ROCKY. hahha the ROCKY of my life. (hmmm i wonder where he is right now...maybe i could 'friend' jessica again..hahahah...)
anyhoo. jessica was really the brat. take note...was... i don't know if she's changed or something.. probably.. hehehe she looks like an angel btw. a cute little angel. a cute little angel with yellow nail polish on her fingernails....uuuhh...hija, what's with the yellow kyutiks? panlaban siguro ng gloomy rainy days...
ow ow,, she's leaving... buh bye jessica....buh bye......:)

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i just remembered... i haven't eaten lunch yet... and it's 4:30 PM..hehehehhe galing... can't eat ... ngipin ko....hhhhaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy.........how sad...........

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sigh sigh sigh.........wala na kong masulat...i watched finding NEmo already! yey! hehhehehe it was sooo funny....=) i don't think the children watching with us at the theatre understood the punch lines.. they were laughing coz we were laughing.. pathetic twerps.... SAMA.............


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too long a blog... better save some for next tiime.. does anybody have ponstan? or advil?

mga sira ulong babae

mga sira ulo ulit

waiting for God's best

in school, i always end up getting surrounded by couples. Couples on my right, on my left, behind me, infront of me, even above me. And then, it struck me, (as it has never stricken me before) when, oh when will God give me His Best? I am convincing myself that he's somewhere out there (beneath the palemoon light) but where in the awesome goodness of the Lord is he? just last tuesday, as i was walking to my car to get home, at around 7:30 pm, i was again caught in couple traffic. I was walking with about five couples. FIVE COUPLES!!! and i was the only one walking alone. i really wanted to run to my car and sulk behind the wheel because i felt so freaking alone. but i walked. i walked slowly while muttering things to myself, i walked slowly while talking to God and asking Him what he's doing in my life. When i got to my car, i went inside and cried. yes, i cried hard in the darkness of my car and that crying gave me goosebumps all over my body. i cried all the way home while staring occassionally at the full moon outside. God really knows how to set the stage for a sentimental night huh?
but i got through it..

i always do.

God told me something that night. I was alone because i can handle being alone. (although it can get really fantastically hard for me)

i'm proud of myself because i'm strong. (or i at least strive to be)

so now, i'm waiting.....and waiting... and probably i'll get tired of waiting... then he'd come. :)

i really have to stop acting like a deranged psychopath stalker!!!

i spent about an hour looking through blogs of people i don't know who might have some sort of relation with him! punyeta! how can i be so pathetic?!

this is phase II of my stalking mode (remember ping what i was searching the other time we got to chat at YM?)

this is bad.... really bad....

the things i think of when i choose to feel psychomental


Now more than ever do i feel that i am truly alone.

I envy you because you still found yourself whole whereas i have never felt complete again...

i no longer think that i loved you in vain for i loved you in my heart with everything i could give and everthing i even couldn't.Your love saved me from potential death of spirit, of soul and of heart.

I contually thank the Lord for you, constantly convince myself that i did not love in vain, that we did not love in vain. For your love, our love, gave me life, a life that would've broken apart if it were not for you.

last night, i had trouble sleeping because i had 2 cups of coffee after lunch. Caffeine really hits me bad.
anyway, i had a great time seeing my friends again (all four of us, complete once more), chat about our uneventful lives, talked about putting up a business of some sort (sabi ko carwash tapos naka bikini sila, or sa quezon ave. isang gabi..ako bugaw..hehehe..joke .. tutorials, wholesale, garagesale, foodsale..), talked about boys (those we want but don't want us, those who want us but we don't want, and those that are simply irreplaceable in our hearts), talked about school (although we really didn't talk about that that much since where's the fun in that right?) and took pictures ala-probinsyana at chocolate kiss at UP. hehe.
anyway, that over, i can't wait for the next lunch we'll be spending together.
Its another friday afternoon and i'm here in school again for another Kythe meeting..this org's great and all but sometimes, it's so much work. I wouldn't mind it if i were in school already, but the dread of having to go here before three in the afternoon even if the meeting's still at 4:30 and having to go home after 7 pm, coding kse.. hayy.. nakakaasar.

anyway.........

as i was saying, i couldn't sleep last night. maybe i got to sleep at around 2 am. I wanted to log on to the net and maybe chat a while but thanks to the wonderful prepaid net card, i couldn't. so i watched the idiot box till my eyes can't take it no more. i watched wonder years (yey! they're showing it again on the disney channel!), oprah, the news, CNN, this movie on the hallmark channel, AFV, umm... and ... Mtv i think...that eventually made me fall fast asleep.

i was doing some thinking last night, since i didn't have anything else to do in the dark... and i missed a particular person again. i was thinking of calling up that person but decided on/in/at/with(?) my better(?) judgement and didn't. I didn't want to crazy up that person's life again with me making kulit at that persons life. It was hard.. really. but i guess i got through it naman. labo.shet.

anyway, ayun... wala... still trying to upload pictures on the net so that i could post some here... till then... read on..

today i went to see cute little bald kids.
they were really nice.
some were rowdy
others barely talked
but i had fun spending time with this particular girl named Faye.
she was wearing a jean hat with a red flower in front
she had a smile that could melt your heart
and dimples so deep you'd want to press it
we read aesops fables and sleeping beauty
and she asked questions like 'where did the snake come from?' and 'will she die?'
i had a hard time talking to her at times
coz she was so shy.
but everytime we moved seats, i always catch her looking for my hand
making me want to guide her as we walk around the playroom
when it was time for her chemo, she said she'll be back in a while
i said ok, i'll just be right here then maybe we could do some painting after that.
she came back, still with a smile on her face
she was so brave and strong, it was so different from what she looks like on the outside.
when i was hanging out with the other volunteers, she went out of the chemo room, and with a smile on her face
said 'hi ate joanna!'
i made a new friend today
and i just met an angel too. :)